Unexpected Expectations

Years ago, when my father passed away, I thought one of my two older brothers would have the responsibility for his affairs.

I have five brothers. Two older, three younger — and I never expected that I would have any responsibility here.

But, for whatever reason, my father put this burden on me. And it was not a large burden — it is not like he had money or property — he was just a normal guy with no debt and few assets.

But he had “stuff” and he left all of that stuff not to me, but in my care.

Turns out he had some interesting stuff — perhaps not of monetary value but let us just call it interesting.

He had been transferring some of this stuff to me over a few years — every visit he would drop off a few boxes. They all had my name on them and I did not understand why at the time. And I did not open them at the time.

I did not understand that he had made me his executor. He never told me.

So these boxes arrived, mostly just books and paper. After he passed I received no furniture or other similar assets. Just more papers and books.

And at first glance these books and papers seemed to be the leftovers of a man who spent his last years downsizing his life to sustain his life. He sold assets that people understood — furniture, etc.

So many boxes and books that I received were just placed in a space — not looked at.

Not for a long time.

Over the last few years I have started digging into them and I have found some amazing family artifacts. Not sure what to do with them. Shared some of the personal stuff with brothers — pictures, and what not.

My father entrusted this stuff with me, but I know he wasn’t giving them to me.

He trusted me to do the right thing for the family.

And that is a burden I am not pleased with.

Some of these items are museum items. Some might have value. Some of my brothers might prefer some cash — some might be happy with having our family name on a display in a museum.

This is what my dad burdened me with.

It is my decision now, and it will almost certainly piss off a couple brothers no matter what I do. Everything pisses off a couple brothers when you have five of them :)

So dad, you put me in a tough spot.

I trust you knew I would do the right thing when you made this decision.

And all I can trust is myself, and what I think is best for most.

And what I think you trusted me to do — which is not to enrich your children but to share your collections and enrich humanity.

And that is what I’ll do.